Dear Reader,

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The subject of older women has gone from being a no-go topic, hidden away in the privacy of ageing women’s psyches, to being a hot-off-the-press conversation.

I’ve been working with women going through menopause since 2017 and listening carefully to the conversations being had in the media, on podcasts, in books, etc. And I’m worried. I’m worried, because I believe the journey to elder-hood is at the risk of being ‘cashed in on.’ By this, I mean that it's not taken to the depths that are needed for a true transformation of each woman and therefore, and most importantly, of society.

Menopause conversations and online advise go from the use of supplements, diet plans and exercises, to talking about acceptance of getting older, of becoming a hag or a crone. Of course, there are variations on different themes sandwiched between.

Most of these conversations may sound helpful on first glance, but I worry that in reality they are still very superficial and skimming the surface of a very deep subject.

Much of what I hear is missing the point. It’s as if we’re talking about women’s wisdom, but using the voice of patriarchy. I believe we need to approach menopause from where we are in the world today. Female ageing in the context of a planet in danger. Female ageing during the death throes of patriarchy. Female ageing while the planet’s species are going extinct at an alarming rate.

The essential questions for me as an ageing woman are: What do the next seven generations need so they still have a planet to call home? What’s my role in helping that happen?

One thing’s for sure: We need a new, clearer, empowered voice of leadership in the world. Leadership that is based on answering the questions above. But there’s one snag. We can’t just step into feminine leadership without the risk of doing the same as has always been done. Why? Because we, like everyone else, have been educated by patriarchy. We, like everyone else, are standing on the shoulders of generations of women who have had to fit into patriarchy. We, like everyone else, have internalized the voice of patriarchy.

From where I’m standing the journey is to truly discover the voice and truth of the older, wiser woman, because she is needed in the world today. There are aspects of our psyches that have been shaped by generations of patriarchy that we need to face, confront and deactivate.

There are aspects of ourselves that we need to reclaim and dive deeply into the unconscious for. I call this the dark female shadow of our motherline. The fun part is that we all come from different ancestral stories and our journeys back to reclaim the denigrated and buried dark feminine are all unique.

There is an aspect of the feminine--call her what you will...Dark Goddess, Dark Mother, Night Deity, Primordial Goddess--who has never and will never fit into patriarchy. She is the mother of the crone. Her job is to guide us in the underworld, as we undo, unpick and unravel the stories that shaped the inner tyrant. The inner 'he,' who partnered with patriarchy and relegated the outer feminine to a place of disempowerment and the inner feminine to the darkest, most hideous corner of our shadows.

If we look backwards at the way the women in our motherlines were treated and traumatized by a system that didn’t honor the feminine, we will find the patterns we need to transform: The stitches they made to survive, the stories that they wove, because all they knew was to curtail to the world of patriarchy.

The deepest part of the feminine has been buried for generations. Some say she went into hiding to prevent humanity from the danger of destroying her. For whatever reason, our grandmothers, great grandmothers and so on all left her behind in the dregs of their psyches. They had no choice. Each lineage has its own story.

Our job is to unravel the stories and confront the tyrant hiding within, so that little by little, dream by dream, inner journey by inner journey, hunch by hunch, the most terrible face of our own wild woman gets nearer and nearer to the surface. Until, one day she’s near enough and we have enough courage to face her in all her darkness, in all her wildness, in all her degradation.

And that day, we realize she is us and we are her. She is the one we’ve been missing. She is the one that makes us a crone. She is the voice the world needs now.

I have a couple of places left in The Alchemy of Menopause live-online program that begins on March 14th. If the Dark Goddess is calling you, join me and a dynamic group of like-minded women and discover your soul’s purpose for the next phase in your life!

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Many Blessings

Cathy

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